Showing posts with label happy.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happy.. Show all posts

17.8.12

What I'm looking for.


It feels so weird to be here now. Profane, like having sex in your childhood room.
Oh well.

His hands slightly shaking. He means to keep it all under control, keep it completely cool, but his pulse betrays him. I can see, in that slight unsteadiness, that despite the distance and the serene face, he is affected by me. He wants me. Enough to make me wait, and oh, I'll wait however long he says.

I'll do any and all the things, to see his hands slightly shaking as they undo a button. To see the smiles.
The wicked smile, when a new, unspeakable idea pops into his mind.
The sadistic smile, rejoicing in the divine pain he knows he's causing, reaffirming the extent of my surrender.
The satisfied smile, as he sees his desires fulfilled.

The smiles he's unaware of, when he sleeps, when he's happy. I saw it the very first night, when I had to force myself to close my eyes, because the vision of him smiling, sleeping next to me was so damn beautiful.

And god damn it, in all my life I have never, ever seen such tenderness anywhere, as there was in the look in his eyes when he managed to get that damn thing in my butt. And hell, I think it's romantic, however weird.

I'll be good for him. I'll be better, I'll be the smartest, the prettiest, the sluttiest and the most devoted. For him.

After all this time, the answer appears without even thinking about it. After all this time, I know what I'm looking for.

7.12.09

dreams.

Oh my god, I can almost see it. Can you?
Close my eyes and.. there it is.
A house full of light. The sound of children laughing.
A home made piece by piece. A life.. together.

Let it rest for a little while.
It's just a dream.
And today's well worth to be lived.

So keep it stored as a beautiful wish until the time comes.

27.8.09

beautiful and loyal mark darcy.

The most amazing thing happened yesterday.
I was on my typical Bridget's mode, you know, pj's chips and cheese, and that woman thing got me. That paralyzing fear of being alone. But the I remembered... oh my, I'm not alone.
I'm so very glad I'm not alone!
Later in the day, me in the exact same position of course, the phone rang. It rang! And it was him.
He called, just like he said he would. I'm still not over the surprise.
It's not complicated. I don't have to refrain myself from thinking, feeling or saying anything.
I don't have to doubt if he's telling me the truth. I don't have to be looking for someone to forget him.
I don't have to correct people when they say we're together.

It's been so long, and I had gotten used to it.
I don't ever want to get used to something like that again.

And I'm enjoying everything about it like you wouldn't believe.
Every detail, every second. Every word and every silence.
Every part of his self, every inch of his skin.

13.8.09

a thousand sweet kisses.



prueba para el laburo.. pero quedó tan linda!

3.8.09

fairy-godmother says.

Not very often, happens that a bad girl lets a good boy in. Now if the boy does his homework, and if she lets him, she may fall for him. And that's when something amazing happens: the bad girl lets down her defenses, opens up and smiles. It's almost mystical, the desire of redemption and the unstoppable need to make the good boy happy.
So the vinegar turns to honey, and a new housewife-wannabe is born.
Sweet little details bloom in every day life, smiling faces on the calendar, maybe flowers on the dinner table. If she can cook, the house will be filled with the smell of home-made cookies or cupcakes. If she can sign, delicious melodies will fly out of her lips. If she goes out, her feet will dance at every corner.
Her smile will be bewitching. Her eyes will always shine. And she'll relive every perfect moment with him in her mind.
She will no longer want to always wear black. And will be thinking of new ways to make him smile.
Oh, she'll be such a good girl for a little while.

26.7.09

a july morning.

Little girl walking down the street. A green lollipop on her dreamy smile. Turns to look around, stops at a random point and stares with big green eyes. The birds on the trees, the boys going home.
She lies on a street bench facing the sun. She smiles at the leaves and the wind and the sun.

My oh my, would you just look at that girl.

She has been wished good night. And so, she feels she has company enjoying the midday cold.

And in the most platonic of ways, in saying good night, she feels his presence goes with her to sleep.

29.5.09

escena conyugal.

- Les voy a decir que cuando ellos se estaban tomando el bondi para ir al laburo, yo estaba teniendo sexo.
Me reí mientras lo miraba irse a bañar. Le preparé dos sandwiches de salame y queso, y se fue.
Yo encontré mi remera, me la puse y estuve toda empillamada. Era tan cómoda. Me acosté en su cama de dos plazas ahora toda para mi.
Todo era perfecto, excepto por el dolor de panza y la culpa.

7.4.09

querida jo.

tenemos un problema, querida.
encontré tu blog, ese que habías mantenido en tanto secreto,
o simplemente del que yo no tenía noticia.
y la señorita no tiene activados los comentarios. entonces,
yo leo, y no puedo hacer comentarios.
no puedo decirle, por ejemplo, que la foto mia esa es horrible.
por lo tanto termino haciendo una entrada aca para comunicarme con la señorita jo.
y no señorita porque no este casada, sino para que se acostumbre
señooooooo pepa me puso plasticola en las trensas! (:
a ver si la veo prontamente, señorita jo.

1.4.09

smiling in the morning.

it's fun to feel young. younger. it makes it interesting.
there's something hot to it. or maybe it's just me.
and soft is good. it's gooood.
and new but strangely familiar. and comfortable. and happy.
and "i know what i'm doing" confident is good. it's gooood.

and the coffee's great.

30.3.09

it's a little bit funny

it feels funny. like.. the opposite of that mind blowing emptiness.
like i'm.. filled. but i don't know with what.
i know what's changed. actually, a couple of things have changed.
but is it really just that? that simple?
that was the answer all this time? you know, it's not enough.
but it's a good starting point, this one i'm in.
it's all looking very bright and shiny ahead. not a lot of black clouds to fuck things up.
although, that is kinda my thing. but that's not really a problem.
very funny.

overall, i'm just.. way better.
great, actually.

12.3.09

the interactive part of my relationship with myself.

i have a thing for rain.
it's kind off a love-hate relationship, like everything that's worth anything.
but it makes me feel safe. it's like a really good hug.
it also reminds me of about a million things, all together.
you know, like my house or this city. or a good song.
i guess that's why i find it so romantic.
and i'm not usually a fan of romance, but this is the good kind.
like remembering how someone takes their coffee, not like a pink teddy bear.
only when you're not in love, romantic turns to either nostalgic or bitter.
there's the hate part of our relationship. that and the fact that it wets.

but it's one of those stuff that are mine. like my house, or this city.
it's like the interactive part of my relationship with myself. or something.

(yes, i'm overusing the blog. i think it's a good thing.)

8.3.09

messy modern life

thing is, fuck.
having feelings, having friends, having friends who have feelings.
messing up. alcohol's a sweet excuse, but some things are just too obvious and irresistible.
some things you've known all along are gonna happen, and yet have unexpected consequences.
and some things just take you totally by surprise. and that's fucking good.

attraction is a great word. and a great thing.
it's one powerful force. specially when it's wrong. mmmmh wrong.
so what happens after we give in to that force? when the wrong is not so wrong anymore?
luckily, complications and wrongness are everywhere, and i'll find many excuses to keep it interesting,
at least for a while.
and we all know i'm gonna keep messing up, i'm an endless fount of tasty mistakes.

i'm gonna have to make A LOT of mistakes to keep me occupied.
as for tonight, i have enough to keep me from thinking what the fuck is he doing online.

19.2.09

luciernagas.

February 19th
- Sabés qué? Cambié de opinión. Mejor dame vos tu teléfono, no me voy a aguantar la ansiedad...
Lo miró y sonrió. Decidió que si iba a llamarlo.
- Yo te llamo.

February 22nd
- Mirá! Un avión.

February 25th
- Sigue chocando el auto! Cuántas veces puede hacer el mismo chiste?

March 2nd
- Cómo que no se puede llegar al mar en Buenos Aires?

March 4th
Mientras abría la puerta de madera con cuidado, se dió vuelta a mirar al chico que estaba detras de la reja.
- Este.. es un final perfecto.
- No es un final.
Sonrió. No le creyó en absoluto.

15.2.09

reflexiones

la vida ha cambiado.
me parece realmente que este es un momento definitorio, estamos creciendo de nuevo.
la gente se va a otros países. hay que ser adulto para hacer eso.
la gente toma decisiones radicales sobre su vida y da muchísimo miedo
y es así es lo que toca y la posta es que uno se levanta
todos los días para ir a laburar, todos los días
y entabla relaciones reales con las personas, tiene conversaciones y afectos
y responsabilidades, y no es algo malo. es algo que cambia a uno.
y por suerte me dormí y me desperté y no me olvide de todo lo que daba vueltas en mi cabeza
y es raro en mi que estas cosas den vuelta por mi cabeza, pero me parece imprescindible.
vamos en encontrarnos y siendo las mismas personas vamos a tener
casas, hijos, carreras, deudas
nos miramos al espejo y nuestra cara no es la misma,
nos miramos a los ojos y se nota por lo que pasamos
y seguimos aferrados a alguna niñería y es algo bello pero ficticio
no somos los jóvenes de antes.
no llegamos a los 19 años vírgenes (me refiero a vírgenes de la vida, como un territorio virgen)
llegamos con historias, deseos, cicatrices, relaciones personales construidas sobre bases duraderas y verdaderas, cuentas pendientes, miedos.
no son los mismos 19 años que nos transmiten nuestros padres y la sociedad.
estamos inmersos en este mundo que queremos cambiar, pero quien esta dispuesto a usar su insignificante y valiosísima vida solo para eso? quien sabe como hacerlo, por donde empezar?
todo esta corrompido y nosotros también, y que saben los que no lo están? su valor es la belleza, la pureza que no se lleva bien con la reflexión, que se vería lascerada por ella.
me siento capaz de seguir adelante, de desempeñar ese papel,
y miro a mi alrededor y la gente también y esta dispuesta.
crecemos como grupo social, en paralelo mas allá de las diferencias de cada uno.
hay algo de ese mundo real que nos parece tan fantástico cuando no estamos en el,
que nos atrapa y no se detiene.

24.1.09

just the way you are

i get drunk, i get high, i cry and make a scene
i kiss the wrong people and fuck the wrong people, at the wrong time
i stalk my exes, i still think my son's gonna have his last name
i drink alone, sleep a lot, listen to sad songs when i'm sad to get sadder
i say more than i should and then forget about it
i panic over almost anything, i talk to myself in public and at loud
i imagine conversations in my head and then get mad at people over what i imagined they said
i'm the girl who takes a cab at 3 in the morning to go to the house of a boy i don't even like
i imagine getting even with what i'm scared he may do is gonna make me feel better
i'm rude to people i don't like, i'm easy because i don't like to play hard to get
i date guys who resamble my dad, and complain about it
i'm the girl who's crying at the bus stop at 6 in the morning
i'm friends with all my ex and date all my friends
i go for my boyfriend's best friends every time, it's just irresistable
i like broken girls, the ones that get drunk and cry and dance and fuck their best friend
(yep, i do know that's what i do)
i can't stand other women when i go out, i want all the atention for myself
i can't go anywhere whitout running into someone i really shouldn't run into
i'm dying for those fuzzy handcuffs, and would probably use them whit anyone but my boy
i'm always on a "it's really hard to explain" or a "it's a long story" relationship
i dream about getting chances, and refuse them when they fall from the sky
i always get an "oh no, what did you do?" for an answer
i can't keep a haircut for over a month, i always wound up feeling like a whore
i never have anything to wear no matter how many clothes i buy
i can't handle competition, i just give up
i want an adult relationship, but i would just fuck it up (again)

nothing's more fun than making a mess.

and i just love that about me.

18.1.09

just something about mary

you know those girls who are just so fucking cute you just can't say no to them?
i mean, you know nothing good is going to get out of that, but she's looking at you with those eyes and we just fall for it, like the suckers we are.
it's like in this movie, this girls is being stalked by about 5 different guys.
and everyone who meets her falls in love with her.
we all know a mary. fuck, i know i do. you just know she's going to let you down again, but you see her waiting there for you and all you can think about is god she's beautiful.
it's funny cause we see that and they seem so.. flawless.
but they all have big self esteem issues and in the end are just a complete mess.
but don't be fooled... once you see the mess at it's worst.. they get vulnerable.
and broken. and i looove a fucked up girl.

and worst of all, you never call me when you say you will! but i love you still i need you! more than anyone darling, you know that i have from the start.. so fill me up! come on hon, don't break my heart...

1.12.08

clueless (not)

it's a great movie (i think we can all agree on that...)
but it's not the right word.
i'm not clueless (what, you thought it was going to be about anything else but me? please)
i'm not. i know where i stand. and where i want to go.
i just don't quite have it. or know how to get it.
but it doesn't seems imposible. it actually seems as if it could happen at any minute.
well, not really. but kind off.
like i could meet someone and just.. be right.
and i could handle other things and adjust.
and make it work. i could.
it'll just take a little time.
and i have stuff to fill my day with in the mean time.
and the summer and all. ooh gosh, the summer.
a topic for another day.
thing is, even thou everything's a big fat mess.
because it is a big fat mess. there's no point in denying i'm a fucked up.
and the whole fake relationships issue, and the non-getting-over and the longings
i'm not clueless. i know what i want.
wow that's a first (almost)

dear, all we need is just a little patience.

31.10.08

in this town of halloween.

YA SÉ que es simplemente otra muestra más del dominio total de la cultura yanki sobre nosotros.
que es un intento idiota de imitar una pelotudez.
que adoptando ese tipo de "festividad" estamos de alguna forma despreciando nuestra riquisima cultura nativa.
que es un gran evento marquetinero que deja millones a los fabricantes de caramelo y de... plastico naranja.
que puedo disfrazarme de pirata y comer caramelos en cualquier momento y no necesito una excusa.
que los niños crecen con la idea de que esta bien andar diciendo treak-or-treat! o halloween o cool o whatever.

but i can't help it.
i love it :)

7.10.08

:) ! (too happy to put into words)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Hola Lu, recién llegado del evento y con alguna copa de más me encuentro con tu
link. Debo decir que quedé impresionado por la calidad general de las fotis. Hay
algunas sencillamente soberbias, sobre todo las "naturalistas", esos recortes
aparentemente obvios pero a la vez originales de cosas de todos los días. Tenés
un ojo bárbaro, sería bueno que cuando subas las fotos dejes los EXiF para darse
una idea más acabada de lo técnico. Hacés rendir muy bien una cámara que es
buena pero no deja de ser una compacta, con sensor chico, etc. No quiero
imaginarme cuando agarres una reflex con lentes màs adecuados. Resumiendo, me
gustó mucho todo, con más tiempo te puntualizo algunas de mis preferidas y
algunas de las que me gustaron menos y los por qués. Felicitaciones muchas.
Apple
ok, se que estoy simplemente revolcandome en mi felicidad
pero aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! :)
todos aquellos que me han desmerecido y hecho sentir mal, go fuck yourself.

it's seriously amazing getting recognition for something i actually like doing.
from someone that seriously knows what he's talking about.
and who wouldn't tell me he liked them if he didn't.
even thow he may had been a little drunk at the time.
but there's no way anything's taking the happyness away today.
not even you, sucker.

:)

9.9.08

just the way you are.

Here comes a sign in the form of a girl
She's the finest, sweetest thing in the world
Oh, take you to Heaven tonight

I feel the horses coming galloping
In the summer ends
Take you to Heaven tonight
Oh, cause I love you
For what you are

I'll gallop to you
Tonight, tonight we'll ride
I'll give it to you
We'll go to Heaven tonight
Tonight

Out on the winding road I couldn't wait
Oh baby I was afraid heading for Heaven tonight
I'll go to Heaven tonight
I feel the horses coming galloping
I will never grow old, I'll go to Heaven tonight

Because I love you
For what you are


I'll gallop to you
Tonight, tonight we'll ride
I'll bow down to you
We'll go to Heaven tonight
Tonight

I can't believe that I could be happy
Summer will come again, I could be happy
Oh, stop your crying, you could be happy
Go to Heaven when you make me happy

Here comes a kiss that I never had
Nothing feels like this, headed for Heaven tonight
I love you
Here comes a storm in the form of a girl
She's the finest, sweetest thing in the world
Oh, I'll go to Heaven tonight
For what you are

I'll gallop to you
Tonight, tonight we'll ride
I'll bow down to you
We'll go to Heaven tonight


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